New dos and smackhead blues

Posted on June 14, 2008 by admin 1 Comment

A hangover kicking in and a bacon sandwich to tuck into – perfect conditions in which to catch the T4 omnibus…

Because she’s worth it

Love Amy’s new do!! It may be the by-product of spousal abuse but we think for once Ste has actually done her a favour.

The phantom menace

There is a pregnancy epidemic going on in the village at the moment (pretend or otherwise): the permanent argument that is the Tina-Jacqui-Tony-Dom-Russ surrogacy quintangle, Amy pretending to be pregnant to avoid any more beats from Ste and SHOCK HORROR the lovely Zoe being knocked up by the DILF.

Most half arsed attempt at forcing someone to go cold turkey EVER

Surely the Ashworth’s could have done a better job to get the increasingly pitiful Fletch off the smack? Why and how was the room green? And when did they board up the windows? And well done, Hannah, for letting him out – a smack in the chops was the least you deserved.

Fletch

Some key things about our favourite Pete Doherty wannabe:

Please lose the waistcoat Fletch, it makes you look like a twat!

His parents are still an enigma – his mum constantly on holiday; his dad barely glimpsed off screen as he threw Fletch’s belongings from a car…do they even exist?!?

Ravi

We do not like him!!! Enough of the blokey banter/football playing with Warren! We understand the need to involve the new character in the day to day goings on of the village – but we all know Warren doesn’t have any friends! Maybe they could have scowling/whispering contests instead

He is nasty to Nancy – leave her alone you pig!

He shagged and dumped Mercy. As if – she is so out his league!!

Grrr

Sign language lady

Different sign language lady than usual today. Nice purple blouse!

Nige!

Chester’s finest drug dealer made a rare appearance in the Monday episode. Clad in a rather fetching tracksuit, he loitered around the village getting up to all sorts of sinister things, like taunting Fletch about sleeping with Sasha, selling drugs to school kids and putting his feet on the table at Mobs. Nige – come back soon, we miss you already.

Return of the Max (‘s sister)

Hollyoaks’ original teenage mum Cindy Cunningham has returned to the village with daughter Holly in tow.

Why is she being so evil and trying to split up Max and Steph??

How prominent were her nipples in that tight beige top? Could put someone’s eye out with those love

Zack! We love you!

Zack once again proved what a little scouse sweetheart he is by offering the terminally luckless Zoe a shoulder to cry on. Awww! But then he stood up for himself when Zoe was once again treating him like a schmuck. Hooray! But then was sat on his own on the steps in the dark drinking beer. Boo hoo! Someone give this boy a girlfriend, he is cuter than a bag of kittens!

Niall vileness

He had a quiet week this week, no ODs, no relationship sabotaging… however Steph did finally tell him it wasn’t going to happen between the two of them. “I don’t take rejection very well” he said, ominously. If the spoilers in the Sunday papers are anything to go by, vile Niall isn’t going to take that rejection well at all….

Film student moments: 4

• Weird Fletch/Amy/Josh addict/liar/cheat thing
• Re-ee-wind thing with characters moving in reverse to Every Heartbeat by Robyn… liked the backwards Fletch!
• Crazy baby montage with Zoe
• Requiem for a dream homage/rip off for the big Fletch smackdown

Quotes:

Fletch was on a roll this week:

“Get your face out of my space” Fletch to Nige. Can see that one catching on.

“Luckiest man alive” Fletch’s description of Ste – really, Fletch? REALLY??!