Get your lactating breasts outta my face!

Posted on August 23, 2008 by admin No Comments

Taking a break from watching the diving in the Olympics, we turn our attention to the E4 omnibus…

Ongoing baby dramas…

After being caught out as a secret breastfeeder, Tina played the biological-mother card and claimed baby Max, much to Jacqui’s Corleone-style fury (see quotes below). Now we know it must have been hard for Tina to give up her baby, particularly with her state of barrenness thanks to Vile Niall, but surely she could be a bit more sensitive towards Jacqui and not wave her lactating breasts around so much? Despite hardly being a postergirl for morality (Max’s Russ-shaped DNA is proof enough of that), Tina is being increasingly holier-than-thou, lecturing a hungover Jacqui about not being a good role model. It’s only a matter of time before Jacqui snaps and unleashes hell on her sister – punch her in the womb we say!

Fletch lives (ish)

The village’s best, and only, Pete Doherty tribute act returned to torment Sasha, one minute telling her he loved her, the next stealing her bag. What a rotter! Luckily there was time for Michaela to punch him in the chops. Hurrah!

Happy (close) talk

Warren and Calvin’s post-Nige death flirtation continues, with Warren taking every opportunity to indulge in some close talking. Things are getting very touchy feely too, Warren grabbing Calvin by the face. Get a room boys!

Nige!

Our worst fears may have been confirmed, but happily the ghost of Nige looms large over the village, appearing in black and white death flashbacks and lingering in people’s thoughts. He may have had the indignity of being buried in some mystery location, but knowing Warren’s body burying skills it wont be long before his rotting corpse appears somewhere. We can but hope.

Nancy and Ravi

We may have initially been sceptical about this supposed romance but once they stopped the annoying games this unlikely pairing were rather sweet. Okay Ravi, you may not be all bad – we are going to give you a second chance.

It’s aliiive!

After our concern last week about Charlie’s wellbeing it was good to see the little nipper, even it he was gatecrashing Nancy and Ravi’s date. It was a bit of a shocker that the courts have decided that he should stay with Frankie. Seriously – they would rather he stay at the Osbornes, land of schizo emos, fake death scams, shoe mountains, Darren’s shirts, and let’s not forget no actual blood relatives? Scary.

Continuity yay!

Steph had an epileptic fit, just to further traumatise young Tom. Ah we have fond memories of Toby, Hollyoaks’ first and only serial killer – come on Vile Niall, don’t you see the fine heritage of villians the village has? They are turning in their graves at your lack of murderous ambition! Get with the programme!

Quotes

“Don’t think you haven’t betrayed me…I hate you Tina”. Jacqui gets Godfather part II on her treacherous sister’s ass.

“Were you like this with your last fella?” foot-in-mouthery for Ravi, after a fiesty-Nancy moment.