hollyoaks later 2008 – the finale

Posted on November 29, 2008 by admin No Comments

Still reeling from the senseless death of the Vile one, and more than a little merry after an evening’s white wine consumption in swinging London town, we tuned into a late night repeat of the last …later episode. Given the drama of the previous episode, anything that happened today was always going to be a bit of a moo point, but here goes:

Life without Niall : (

Having suffered the indignity of dying in a poxy spinoff rather than the ‘Oaks proper, further injustice was inflicted on Vile Niall - his death barely getting a mention in this episode. Steph, Craig and Tom returned to the village – had they actually told anyone what had happened? Or did they just leave his smashed little body where it landed, to be chewed on by the locals? A total, utter travesty.

The hiv wedding of the year

Is it just us, but is there something deeply dodge about Mercy and Malachy’s ‘happy’ ending? He had unprotected sex with her knowing full well he had the hiv!! For all of Niall’s evil deeds, even he wouldn’t do something so despicable. Malachy – all you had to do was put a lid on it, mate. And no one seems to acknowledge the terribleness of this!!! We feel like we are taking crazy pills!! It shouldn’t have been a wedding – it should have been a court case!!  Mercy looked very pretty though.

Mega chinned Shane also returned to raise a very pertinent question: how exactly did Malachy catch the hiv? It isn’t from bum fun (or so he says) and the only details he has given is that he was ‘working away’. Was he shagging monkeys? Does he not even want to find out, if only to stop any further hiv infestation? Dickhead.

The morning after

Sarah and Zoe’s night of hot lesbian loving turned sour when Sarah woke up with a big hickey and a face like smacked arse. Narky bitch! We’d be cock-a-hoop if we’d spent the night with a foxy blonde (even if it was our sort-of stepmum). There’s no pleasing some people.

Josh and Dom = chump x2

Pop quiz, hotshot:

So you compete in Battle of the Bands and as a result are offered a solo gig as guitarist for a touring band. Do you take this amazing opportunity to see the world and live your dreams? Or do you instead choose to stay in Chester to be with the local pramface?

You meet a poledancer who, in addition to being super hot, is also sweet, clever and totally in to you. Do you embrace this oasis in the barren wasteland that is your love life? Or do you instead choose to instead pine, alone, for your cheating, whinging, barren titwitch of a dead wife?

Aspirational stuff.

So, Hollyoaks Later is over. Our lives will never be the same again.