omfg!

Posted on May 31, 2009 by welovehollyoaks 3 Comments

Wowzer, it may have been a glorious sunny day but the heat was in Chester for today’s omnibus as the ‘Oaks, for so long below par, finally returned to its demented, spectacular glory. There were…

Returning psychos

So the online buzz was right and Claire was revealed to be Warren’s tormentor. Hurrah! Still mad as a bag of hammers, with a curious choice of outfit – going for prostitute-chic. Must have missed that one in this week’s Grazia.

Deaths by mirror

Well, just the one. And we are assuming the squishing Warren got from the business end of a falling mirror was  fatal one. Unless he somehow cheated death and ran away, like Vile Niall, Claire etc. You never know. Spectacular and unusual demise though, which befitted our fave whisperer.

Two competitors for the ‘grinning psycho’ award

Yep, with Warren and Claire we had two of the ‘Oaks most psychotic characters trying to out crazy each other as they leered, snarled, close talked and grinned manically. Though Claire had the eyeliner/pyromaniac glamour we think Wozzer had the edge – he was even beaming insanely at his own reflection as the killer mirror headed his way. What a ledge.

No expense spared pyrotechnics

No evil scheme in Hollyoaks is complete without a climactic explosion and, like The Dog and St Eustace’s church, the Loft met its fiery maker as villagers watched, agog  and seemingly unwilling to call the fire services, despite the inferno raging not thirty yards from Mobs.

Confusing masterplans

If the whole point of Claire’s return was that she wanted to get her vengeful, chipped nail varnished hands on Justin then why go to all the bother of harassing Warren? Why not simply garrot Justin as he closed the SU bar? She moves in her own way…

Hubristic twists of fate

Justin’s attempted death by fire escape plunge moider of Claire came back to haunt him in a major way as his beloved Hannah came a cropper – first via Claire and a blunt object, then via Claire and a broken balcony and finally by good old smoke inhalation. Liked the Hannah-Claire bitch fight, though in normal circumstances Claire would have wiped the floor with Miss Anorexic fo sho. (btw we think Hannah will live – else wouldn’t that be a hattrick of blondes Justin has lost to a Claire-related fire?!)

Inexplicable guilt

Why, after all this time, did Darren suddenly feel guilty about the frame mad Jake scheme? And even more so feel the need to ‘fess up?

Random coppers

Who the hell was that policeman interviewing Ste, Calvin and Darren? Where is Mark Gasgoyne? We want the ratfaced pervert!!

Broad daylight villainy

Despite the village buzzing with everyday activity (including Nancy and Kris’s rather icky argument-as-foreplay/cheating on Russ thang) no one seemed to notice Claire as she hobbled off…

Abandoned footwear

Like a lunatic Cinderella, Claire left behind a shoe (prozzie chic red stilletto) in the burning remanents of the Loft. She will be back. Yay.

So, not quite an annual cull but still way better than the ‘Oaks has been for a long time. All is well with the world.