omgomgomgomgomgomgomg

Posted on September 23, 2009 by admin 1 Comment

We cannot go any further into our dissection of last week’s omnibus without first reflecting on the biggest OMG moment to happen in the ‘Oaks for a long while.

Oh yes, just when we’d lost faith and were lamenting the shitness of Hollyoaks of late, it unleashes something so marvellous that we almost choked on our mid afternoon bacon sandwich with joy:

ELI IS BACK!!!!

When Newt stopped taking his anti-schizo pills last week we warned that only the return of our fave fro’d alter ego would make this particular plot reoccurrence worth our time and happily the Hollyverse agreed. Only a brief appearance of the imaginary one – right at the end, as paranoid android Newt gibbered behind a fence – but that was enough. Insanity is back in the village. Let the good times roll!

hollyoaks: the movie

Yah, last week’s ‘Oaks was a veritable tsunami of a film student moment – and a very ambitious one at that, with a twisty turny plot that switched (sometimes confusingly) between flashbacks of the young ‘uns ill-fated trip to the woods and its present day repercussions, a whodunnit and a fancy Wizard of Oz motif. Two thumbs fresh.

chav-geddon

Another mentalist returned to the village last week and that be evil chav Gaz, who proceeded to cause all manner of upset – mugging Mercy, tearing Lauren’s new top and kicking a football against the doors of Il Gnosh – incurring the wrath of all and sundry, in particular that of reformed chav scum Ste. Gaz’s final act of mischief (stalking Newt and co to their country hideaway for a spot of Wizard of Oz pretentiousness, icky demands of sex from Anita and rather hot homoeroticism with Newt) was rewarded with a rock interfacing with his skull. Shame, cos we were starting to find him rather hot – luckily, you can never keep a good chav down, see OMG moment below.

quotes:

“You think you’re better than me?” Gaz goes all Jackie Jackson on Newt and the gang.

in other news:

Frankie uses hitherto uncelebrated legal skills by being Newt’s legal representation: Mercy and Malachy almost go to Canadia. Cue lots of drama and shouting. Then they don’t. Mercy and Malachy almost spend £3k on sperm washing in order to plant a bun in Mercy’s oven. Cue lots of drama and shouting. Then they don’t. Sigh; Mercy is first mugged and later falls over in her slag heels; def sexual tension between Mercy and Calvin; Leila and Archie shag; no new batteries for the remote in the McQueen household – Myra has used them in her vibrator. Ewww; we learn that as a child Mercy killed her pet hamster Trevor via a freak electrocution-by-curling tongs accident.

OMG moment

Two corkers:

Eli returns (obviously)

Gaz awakes from his coma in the End bit.