grrr

Posted on November 10, 2009 by admin 2 Comments

Hollyoaks is just totally uninspiring at the moment – so uninspiring that it’s taking us like days to think of something to write.

There are a few things that are starting to get right on our tits:

Anita. Perpetual whinging. False anorexia. 24/7 scowl – IF THE WIND CHANGES YOU’LL BE STUCK LIKE THAT, LOVE. GRRRRRRRR!!!!

A day in the life of Spencer: mumbles something incoherent about Warren. Argues with Calvin/Sasha/Mercy/Malachy. Sacks Calvin/Sasha/Mercy/Malachy. Re-employs Calvin/Sasha/Mercy/Malachy. Injures himself in some freak accident with a firework/drill/boiling pan of baked beans. Pursues ill advised and doomed to failure friendship/romance with unenthusiastic student. Wears that red checked coat. THIS IS ALL HE DOES. IN EVERY EPISODE.

Why does the McQueen home always have that weird yellow tinge at night time? It must be like living inside a tumour.

Vacuum vag Mercy is at it again. Umbraged that Malachy hasn’t put out for 12 whole days she promptly pounced on Calvin (and who wouldn’t). We sussed the sexual tension yonks ago and though nothing more happened than a sneaky smooch, their antsy arguing blates means that they will be bumping uglies (or is that more pretties?) some time soon. And we’d like to be there when that happens.

BTW – Calvin was rejected by returning poo-knickered student India? Suspension of disbelief stretched too far.

in other news: Jacqui’s scally pictures from Hollyoaks Later showed up in Slapper magazine; Josh looks hawt dressed as a woman. So does Dave, kinda; New pavements cause chaos – as ever, the Chester Herald is at the cutting edge of the news agenda

That’s all. Come on Hollyoaks, buck your ideas up.