not a girl. not yet a woman.

Posted on February 14, 2010 by admin No Comments

Okay, so this week has pretty much been a write off in terms of watching the ‘Oaks however we did manage to catch the departure of our fave on/off anorexic and occasional drugdealer’s moll Hannah.

Props to Jamie – he may be a wrong un, but he hastened an exit that had been dragging on for what feels like six years. What he did to get banged up we know not, but it was enough for Hannah to get all independent woman/Britney circa Crossroads – “I’m not the little girl/sister/daughter who needs to be looked after. I’m leaving her behind” she trilled, at every possible opportunity.

Indeed. So after giving poor Darren his marching orders (though we think the wads of cash cushioned the blow somewhat), she packed her bags, said her goodbyes (even to Rhys. Is it just us, or is his obsessive interest in his sister starting to seem a bit…Fritzl?) and taxi’d off into the night.

By that point you’d think you’d seen the last of her. But no, you crazy fool. Hannah hadn’t finished with us yet. She still had a video message to get out of her system, one where she reiterated her point about not being the little girl who needed looking after. Again. You know, from a girl who is eternally teetering on the edge of a mental collapse.

Anyhoo, this is just us being Valentine’s grinches. There is much we will miss about Hannah:

• the lengths to which her boyfriends would go to get away from her, ranging from getting banged up, going on the run and turning gay
• her hannahrexia symptoms: deathly pallor, a scarf and, of course, that spot on her forehead
• the grim reaper-like affect she had on those around her: see Baby Grace, Melissa the anorexic psycho skank, half sis Beth and Sarah
• that bug eyed look she would get when she was angry about something. Like a hamster being squeezed
• her lustrous hair, more often than not in the celebrated Alien hairdo
• her relationship with Darren. She was one of the few people who was genuinely nice to him. Aww.

And on that note, we say goodbye to you Hannah. We wish you peace, love and lots of pies wherever you should rest your hat. xxx

in other news

Duncan continues to masquerade as a gay, this time to get into Theresa’s knickers; underage 70s night at The Loft is hijacked by a pissed (yet hot) Jacqui, who indulges in a (admittedly surprisingly good) dance off with Duncan and then shags Des behind the bins; the unholy goth-chav union that is Lauren and Gaz torment Anita via an arty video montage. Dressed as monkeys.