a word or two from carla
Yaaright? The rest of this article will be written in the voice of Carla from Corrie. Because we love her.
So, the final two episodes of these week’s Hollyoaks presented us will all sorts of moral quandaries and ethical dilemmas:
save your baby brother from mental/spiritual collapse by fessing up to spiking his OJ?
yes, the latest Ashworth crisis rumbles on. But while Rhys did his worried/constipated face at the sight of Josh’s life imploding, his bro’s rather amusing random brand beer-fuelled camera-breaking rampages and hometruthing suddenly became less of an issue when India rocked up with a journalist, intent on making Rhys’ heroic rescue of her front page news. Which she did. Behold the horror of Rhys’ unpleasant leer on the front of the Chester Herald.
be happy for your friend’s new-found happiness with exotic toothy hottie, or instead try to steal him for yourself?
Just why exactly are we supposed to be rooting for Steph? Her mission to chisel Gilly away from Jem reeks of bad sportsmanship and besides – we like Jem, she is hot and she selflessly gave Tom the shark tooth/amazon tat given to her by Gilly. Despite her rival’s obvious credentials as a better human being, Steph continued to play the friend card in order to spend time with Gilly (smug cow alert: fluorescent clementine as she texts Having a great time with Gilly to Cheryl).
Happily, her holier than thou attitude was royally smacked down after she had a go at Jem for a (admittedly risky) cheer-up-Cindy-with-a-mothers-day-card-from-Tom strategy. Cue much Mancunian rage from Gilly and Steph’s new nose put thoroughly out of joint. YES!
spend £2k on your neglected children and babydaddy or blow it all on a slag holiday with your mates?
This actually wasn’t much of a dilemma for our Amy, the dosh sent to her by the DILF lavished on Sasha and Michaela almost as soon at it arrived. To be fair to the 2×2, it’s not so much a slag holiday (despite Michaela’s pleas for Shagaluf and the like) as a trip to Eurodisney with the kids in tow, complete with a pre-hol piss up on white wine and a cat-death awful/brilliant karaoke version of Kaiser Chief’s Ruby, but hats off to her for such a flagrant disregard for sensible thing such as ISAs, trust funds etc. Props to her also for being the only person to take pity on Josh, offering him a place to stay (much to Ste’s chagrin). You aren’t all bad Amy. Looking good too.
support your friend’s newly elected position as student warden, or thoroughly sabotage it?
HILARITY as Charlotte resolutely opts for the latter, making Dave’s first and last day as warden something of a nightmare via fake dead rates, klaxons and shit filled toilets.
in other news
Darren (swoon) wear’s a fetching white jacket, plus have you ever noticed how dashing he is in the opening sequence?; Cindy still goes for the slap-less/croydon facelift look; where the f*ck is Holly? Bored now!
quotes
“this story could go national!” trills posho journo trollop re Rhys’ rescue of India. Slow news week then?
“I am in awe of him” India on Rhys. One word. Can you guess what it is?
that’s all for now. ta ra.
*clacks off down the road in a slag heels for a G&T*
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