glass half cull

Posted on March 15, 2010 by admin No Comments

We couldn’t go on without referencing the mooted culling of not one but SIXTEEN Hollyoak’s residents:

Josh, Suzanne and Nev the racist dad: we’ve known about this for some time and have come to terms with the fact that Rhys is staying. In a way we applaud such an audacious move – really, would any soap get rid of a sexual deviant like Rhys? We think not.

The Valentines – including Sasha , Lauren and Leo and, obvs, Calvin is shot down in his prime when the flashforward becomes flashpresent in may: fair dues, they’ve done jack all of interest for years – even Sonny has defected to Eastenders.

Zack: Aww. Shame.

Spencer: ABOUT EFFING TIME

Archie: Nooooo!

Jake and Loretta: yes please

Newt: without Eli he’s nuffink. So yes. But could we keep Eli? Imagine it: an imaginary friend, who exists without the person who imagines him? HOW AMAZING would that be?

Dave: can he take India and Charlotte with him?

Des: we were starting to really like him. Poor old Jacqui, left on her tod again.

Kris: the ‘Oaks will be a duller place without his barbs and eyeliner. Error.

So, our faves (ie Darren, swoon, Cheryl, the Hutch, etc) appear to be safe, but we feel there is a certain lack of ambition – there are no big names – NO MCQUEENS!!!! WTF!?!!? – and none of the above sound like annual culls (unless the Valentines are wiped out in a freak windsailing accident? The Ashworths commit mass suicide?), so its all a bit… non, really.

Ah well. At least Darren is safe.

ps – could one of the above be the Calvin shooter?