inferno week: day 1

Posted on November 10, 2010 by admin 3 Comments

It’s here! The week that will change Hollyoaks forever, apparently. In the spirit of shoehorning in as many fire-related references as we can, let’s light the blue touch paper…

for one week only?

So the first thing we noticed were the new additions to the opening sequence. Mal, Amy and Steph, all previously missing, are all now present, making it harder to guess to is going to be flambéd. Sneaky. Plus, of course, a certain whisperer returns:

Steph looking ethereal and heading towards ‘the light’? Luckily for her, the dress code for heaven is apparently ‘WAG in a taxi queue at 4am’:

Amy looking glam but more than a little fucked off. She resembles a bored girlfriend in Top Shop waiting for her other half to choose between one plaid shirt and another (take note, Mr WLH):

Okay we know this isn’t new, but we just had to include it – hadn’t realised that Brendan throws a skull adorned ace of spades. Swoon:

Badgered haired winking:

Like we’re Tom stuffing our faces with triple burgers, Warren Shhhhhhhhs us menacingly:

As he winks, the shhhh spews forth the Hollyoaks titles like blood. Ominous:

twisty turny plot

YAY. We love it when Hollyoaks does crazy assed flashbacks and flashforwards (and not just those crappy reminder flashbacks of this year’s Hollyoaks Later), so we’re well happy that all the action is taking place 6 hours before the explosion.

Hollyoaks. Better than Lost. Fact.

big bad Dom

Or rather, not. On learning that Tony is bankrupt, the world’s most inept burger bar owner/PCSO/everything is now on a (we suspect impossible) mission to prove that he isn’t just Tony’s “useless younger brother”. Which involved him scurrying to Brendan for a loan. Given that Brendan effectively works for his own sister and his only income seems to be from drugs muling McQueens or mugging said sister, he is a curious choice for an angel investor.

This didn’t stop Brendan toying with Hutchinson younger for a bit though. “Do I look loike the toipe of person who loikes cashing in on other people’s desperation?” he enquired. Of course you don’t, Brendan.

fisher spooner

So our hiv-cross’d lovers Mercy and Mal met for a truly questionable looking meal and passive aggressive banter (“Take a look around you, would ye? What d’you see?” “Nowt” “Exactly” etc). Luckily, babysitting succeeded where false diagnoses of HIV failed and the couple were soon back together and talking procreation (wow, haven’t been there since last summer). Then the exploding restaurant got in the way. What were the chances?

oh Mandy

Having revealed herself to be in cahoots with Warren and out to finish Tony, Mandy further established her gangster’s moll credentials by meeting Warren for a spot of evil doer canoodling in the woods (where we assume Warren is camping). The resulting tryst was a horrific combination of lip biting, tongue curling and lust filled eye rolling. “Only bad girls bite” she purred. MYEYES etc

in other inferno week news

LAmy finally confessed their love for each other. Awww. We fear their happiness will be short lived; we learn that Carmel has decided to forgive Mercy for shagging her husband. See, Theresa, if only you hadn’t gone down the whole murder route you’d probz be forgiven too by now; Brendan and Warren are briefly at Chez Chez at the same time. Surely, a showdown between these close talking giants is on the way; there was no End Bit. This week, Hollyoaks clearly means business.

Flaming ‘eck! Day 1 over, four to go.