brendan watch: w/c 29th november 2010
So, twas a very quiet week for Mr Brady what with Steph’s funeral, Amber’s bun and Warren’s return dominating 
the week’s action. For a while it seemed like *BLOOD DRAINS FROM OUR FACE IN SHEER HORROR* Brendan might not be in it at all. But then, in the 2nd half of Friday’s episode, something very special happened.
It started with Warren creeping into the Chez Chez sex dungeon armed with a pick axe and a large ham
mer. Of course, any scene that starts with Warren creeping into a sex dungeon armed with a pick axe and large hammer is guaranteed MADE OF WIN.
After a hammering dementedly at the floor for a few seconds in a bid to retrieve the Incriminating Evidence/McGuffin Plot Device (more on the Warren flashback episode soon) he was interrupted. Footsteps on the stairs. A shadow. A forehead. It couldn’t be…?
Oh yes.
It was finally happening.
OMG moments are made of this.
As Brendan reached the bottom of the stairs and Warren scuttled off to hide his tools we were treated to a split screen effect, reminiscent of Kylie and Jason’s Especially For You but with at least ten times the sexual anticipation.
Truly, the brick walls were probably weakened by the sheer volume of testosterone in the air.
As the two most alpha of Hollyoaks males met face to face for the first time, we watched with baited breath for every word, grab, sniff or whisper to see who would emerge victorious.
Naturally, we were on hand to examine each and every detail of what went down:
Warren: “Who the hell are you?”
WLH: A good opener. Straight to the point. Particularly like the belligerence, given that he was the one breaking and entering 
Brendan: “Well that’s funny cos oi was gonna ask you da same question”
WLH: Gets points for his crazed look around the room, as if expecting more hammer wielding strangers to be hiding behind the beer barrels. Alert. Like a ninja.
Warren: “It’s fine. I’m mates with the owner”
WLH: WHAT? Are you 12? Shittest lie EVER
Brendan: “That’s a bit presumptuous doncha think?” *grins as he walks closer* “Ye see…Oi’m de ow
ner”
WLH: After Warren’s school boy error, Brendan picks up further points for unexpected use of the word ‘presumptuous’
Warren *shaking head: “Then I’m confused”
WLH: wise – play dumb to find out more info
Brendan: “Oh?” *tilts head, staring intently*
WLH: Excellent use of the Brady Head Tilt and his trademark ‘Oh?’ said in neutral tones. These have got the likes of Ste and Dom into no end of bother
Warren: “Cos I thought this was Cheryl’s club?”
WLH: again, fishing for info, though revealing shocking lapses in Warren’s pre return-from-the-dead research.
Brendan: “Then let me troi and clarifoi it for ye” *deadpan* “We’re in it together”
WLH: given that we don’t recall Brendan ever investing any cash into the purchase of Chez Chez and that he regularly robs the place of any profits, this is magnificent tall tale telling. In his defence this was neither the time nor the place to disclose such things
*by now we’ve noticed the steam issuing from Brendan’s mouth. A sign that it’s cold in the dungeon? No. That steam is pure testosterone, bursting out of him*
Warren *nodding, not impressed*: “Warren Fox” *holds out hand* “Cheryl’s boyfriend”
WLH: two things –
1) so Warren is telling people who he is? Even though he‘s supposed to be dead? Admittedly, Brendan is a stranger, but isn’t there a small risk he would have heard about the fiery death of the club’s former owner? (though as luck would have it he clearly hasn’t) 
2) WTF???! Cheryl’s boyfriend??! Once again, Warren exhibits all the hustling skills of a teenage boy trying to bluff his way into a strip club.
Brendan *looking at Warren’s hand like it’s a dead otter being offered to him on a platter:* “Brendan Brady – Cheryl’s brudder” *half smiling, he shakes Warren’s hand*
WLH: BOOM!
Warren *grinning, knowing he’s been sussed*: “Nice to meet you, Brendan”
WLH: we’ve got to admire Warren’s brazen stance after being caught out not once but twice. Wondering whether he is by now wishing he had a moustache.
Brendan *wide eyed*: “Is it?”
WLH: another one of Brendan’s ominous, carefully neutral responses. Best demonstrated in his classic scene with Amy.
Warren *cheerily*: “I’d best be off, I wouldn’t wanna get in your way”
WLH: once again, Warren wisely sidesteps Brendan’s trap door questions and beats a hasty retreat
Brendan: “Oh that’s not a problem mate”
WLH: yay, insincere use of the word ‘mate!’
Warren *with a toothy leer*: “See ya”
Brendan: “Yeah. See yer”
*Brendan watches Warren go. the forehead is resplendent and there is a glim
mer in his eye. He immediately gets on the blower*
Brendan: “Hey sis, oi gotta question for ye: who da hell is Warren Fox?”
*Meanwhile, the equivalent scene is happening outside with Warren whispering into his mobile to his partner in crime*
Warren: “Mandeh, I need to you tell me everything about Brendan Bradeh”
Because Mandy’s intel has been so reliable thus far.
WLH verdict
What a close encounter. So much macho on show that we half expected them to grow antlers and have at it.
Despite his baffling lies, if Warren was phased by the appearance of the moustachioed stranger in the 
magnificently camp leather jacket (we clocked the fancy button work on the sleeves. swoon) then he didn’t show it. But then why would he? At latest count a murderer of three, he has seen many battles (with the likes of Calvin, Louise, Mark Gasgoyne and Claire) and been the last man standing. Underestimate the whisperer at your peril.
BUT we still think Brendan had the edge. His calm, considered reaction to finding a random digging in his dungeon (and that isn’t even a euphemism) was the sign of a true king crim and/or psychopath. And he has a moustache.
It might not have been the clash of the titans we were expecting (though that is surely on the way) but it certainly fit the bill for two toothy predators sizing each other up. And this village aint big enough for the both of them. We are hoping next time they meet they will wrestle.
The winner: Brendan, by a whisker.
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Amanda
529 days ago
But doesn’t Brendan win at everything he does?
cyrilandshirley
528 days ago
You always always make me laugh. Specially this: “looking at Warren’s hand like it’s a dead otter being offered to him on a platter.” “Is It?” was my fave moment of the epi. Possibly of the decade, I dunno. I don’t care much for Foxy though. My money’s on Brendan for the win, cos he can knock a person out at 30 paces with pure hormonal intensity, but if they want to fight it out, who am I to stand in their way?
Mrs Levinson
528 days ago
Thankyou WLH for bringing to our attention the Beau Brummel esque detailing on the cuff of Brendan’s shirt! He really is the secret dandy of Hollyoaks isin’t he?, Alphonse/Uncle Trev doesn’t stand a chance by comparision!
If they must fight let it be in a wrestling ring with babyoil and Ste holding up a scorecard in a pair of tiny speedos (Warren can keep his shirt on though so as to prevent outraging public decency)
Brendan might need to lay off the burger buttie and onion ring scoffing in preperation however….
ally
528 days ago
Is it? Wins the round hand down, please don’t ever put the words Brendan, Warren and sexual anticipation in the same post again, just no, it is bad enough Brendan having to come that close to the puffa jacket without the thought of it being removed in his presence.
Speaking of jackets, great spot with the detailing, would have been nicer in pearl though.
ally
528 days ago
With the habitual ‘Oh’ and ‘Is it’ answers Brendan gives it is obvious to me that he has been on a counselling course and learned about open questioning, maybe in his spare time he does the Samaritans.
If he ever asks anyone how something makes them feel, my theory will be validated.
Audrey
528 days ago
I just laughed at the idea of Brendan working for the Samaritans. God love anyone who got through to him.
louise (no, not that one)
526 days ago
That’d be hilarious if Brendan ever said that. Though if he was ever in a Situation where he’d be asking me that, I think I’d know how I’d reply, depending on what the ‘something’ was…
HollyoaksHero
528 days ago
I hate to say this but Warren does, and always will, win it for me. Not that I don’t appreciate the true wonder of Brendan, but I love tha’ Fox.
It’s a tough one, but Warren is the ultimate villain.
On one hand there’s Brendan – he’s a rat-boy post-illicit sex beater, he can apparently walk through walls and his accent is fantastic.
BUT, Warren has done at least three murders, including his FIANCEE on their WEDDING DAY, he’s far more threatening (he dangled Theresa off the side of a building! Brendan just left a threatening voicemail which then became the focal point of a whole bloody week of episodes!), and he’s BACK FROM THE DEAD.
Team Warren 4evs!!
On another note, *** spoiler warning *** – India is going to be murdered at Christmas time. What a fantastic gift for us all.
Siena
528 days ago
Team Brendan all the way!
No one can beat his secret weapon: the forehead of doom!!!
Audrey
528 days ago
Definitely had a WTF moment when Warren said he was Cheryl’s boyfriend only to be further confused when Cheryl seemed to acknowledge this to be true.
In between murdering foxes, scaring tom and ordering fox balloons when has Warren had time to get with Cheryl?
To keep it relevant, I totally thought Brendan came out of this better than Warren.
HollyoaksHero
526 days ago
Yeah – what happened with Cheryl?!
Did I miss an entire episode or something? How can she think Warren is her boyfriend? Is he?
Nona Mills
514 days ago
Thankyou WLH for bringing to our attention the Beau Brummel esque detailing on the cuff of Brendan’s shirt! He really is the secret dandy of Hollyoaks isin’t he?, Alphonse/Uncle Trev doesn’t stand a chance by comparision! If they must fight let it be in a wrestling ring with babyoil and Ste holding up a scorecard in a pair of tiny speedos (Warren can keep his shirt on though so as to prevent outraging public decency) Brendan might need to lay off the burger buttie and onion ring scoffing in preperation however….