in the beginning…there was Top Trumps

Posted on June 21, 2011 by welovehollyoaks 3 Comments

People often ask us how WLH got started. Probably because they think some sort of head trauma must be involved. Since since we’re in post birthday/pre WLH wedding celebration mode, then, we thought we’d get all nostalgic and fess up…

WLH began life as a game of Top Trumps.

It is at this point we should say that at the time we were on a Spanish mini break with WLH co-founder Chris, who can drink epic amounts of red wine and still remain standing, and was the first to call the fact that Amy-beating ratboy Ste was kinda hot. Props to him.

Anyway, it was whilst on this particularly boozy holiday that we found ourselves passing the time by playing the Transformers edition of the numerical data-based card game. After quaffing (perhaps too much of) the local beer by the pool we realised our lives were sorely lacking  a version Top Trumps featuring the characters of  the world’s greatest Chester-based soap.

Spotting (or rather hazily leering at) a gap in the market, we enterprisingly decided to create our own. For a good three hours we sat there, writing out cards for each Hollyoaks character at the time (about 44 of them), rating each of them according to the following criteria:

• Pulling power (out of 200)
• Heart (out of 50)
• Evil (out of 50)
• Randomness (out of 10)
• Comedy value (out of 15)
• and another one beginning with S – can’t remember what that was  (out of 20)

Our ratings were then reviewed by similarly Hollyoaks-obsessed friend (complete with pink ink corrections) and, after yet more beer, we supplemented them with some HIGHLY ACCURATE/crap illustrations.

So, we couldn’t let this article pass without digging them out of the WLH archives and showing you the best ones:

Father Kieron, complete with Eye of God glaring vengeance down upon him:

Warren. Whispering:

Mercy and a minor quibble over her ‘evil’ rating:

John Paul the ‘ratboy’:

Amy and her neverending hair:

The ratboy of Chester:

Dead eyed incester Beth, stalked by death:

Our fave drawing, Nev:

Occasionally, it’s the most minor of characters who have the biggest impact. Such is the case of Scary Police Officer (who, with predictable Chester PD incompetence) jailed Louise for Sean Kennedy’s moider:

Ah Kath Barnes, you crazy daughter’s-boyfriend- shagging-pooing-in-a-box diamond you:

Sadly, the Hollyoaks Top Trumps dream never came to fruition, but it was from these glowing embers of Hollyoaks love that WLH was born – and we haven’t looked back since.

But one day Hollyoaks Top Trumps WILL happen.

ONE DAY. *shakes fist at heavens*