oh Mandy, well you came and you…left quite abruptly

Posted on September 26, 2011 by LadyB 3 Comments

“Mandy said she came back here to hurt me and she succeeded. Maybe not the way she planned it, but she succeeded.” Tony, in BTM style, assumes it’s all about him. But is it?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that no one is ever happy for more than 3 weeks in Hollyoaks. If possible most of this period of bliss should take place offscreen, so that we don’t have to witness them gushing about love and contentment. So it went recently for Mandy and Tony.

After whinging for what seemed like weeks (it probably wasn’t) about Tony’s travel-induced transformation from the Hollyverse’s Alan Sugar to the World’s Worst Jack Sparrow Impersonator, it seemed like only five minutes (it probably wasn’t) until Mandy had chucked him over and scarpered.

She left him with the traditional Hollyverse Dear John letter full of the usual ‘it’s not you it’s me’ and  ‘we’ve grown apart’ platitudes, that most people these days would probably just put in a text once they got out of the area. (Laters Tony LOL Mx)

But why did Mandy really leave? I’ve given it some thought and come up with a few theories

Absentee Mother of the Year no more

Perhaps Mandy suddenly remembered that, oh yeah, she has a small child (at least presumably she still does, unless she sold Ella to pay her way back from the Foreign Parts where Tony abandoned her).

After months of not visiting and not mentioning her, Mandy has suddenly realised that her daughter is probably still with her mysterious babydaddy – (if she has ever mentioned him I have completely erased it from my memory. It’s in the Who-Gives-a-Crap section of my brain, along with everything Ruby ever says.)

Mandy has decided to go back for Ella and give up her pursuit of the Hollyoaks Absentee Mother title, leaving it firmly with in the painted claws of Cindy, who apparently used her dodgily gained millions to pack Holly off to some boarding school, possibly Hogwarts, where she would be immediately sorted into Slytherin. We never see her because she now spends all her holidays at the magical houses of classmates.

the Tom Cunningham Curse

We shouldn’t forget that this latest episode of the on/off Tony/Mandy (Tandy? No – Moany!) relationship was masterminded by none other than pint-sized schemer Tom.  Through some petty theft and a series of text messages appealing to Tony’s ego, Tom did his best to play Cupid instead of Grim Reaper for a change. He told the pair that it was only their own stupidity in the way of their happiness, (which for many of the inhabitants of Hollyoaks would be a pretty damn big obstacle) and Moany seemed to be heading back to the closest they ever get to happy. But no – the Curse has expanded, and now kills relationships as well as his guardians.

Or perhaps just fearing that if she stuck around the village the Curse would claim her, Mandy high-tailed it out of there while she was still in one piece.

The Long Con

Maybe Tony was right after all. Mandy has actually been playing a Machiavellian mind game for months, and the whole thing about coming to work for Cindy to steal her money was actually just a red herring. The chef’s job at the Dog (which, you may remember, Tony got as part of his ‘settling back to normal life with Mandy’ deal) was also part of her scheme to bring Tony as low as he could possibly go, and then – bam! – leave him, in his words, “Mandy-less”.

The money Mandy stole with Texas probably funded this latest escape, (as I don’t remember them giving it back to Cindy), which proves it was all just part of the overall masterplan, of EvilGenius!Mandy. She grabbed the money and then sneaked out of Tony’s like a well-dressed assassin. Scary Silas eat your heart out!

 

Or maybe I have overthought this again. So long Mandy, no doubt you will be back sooner or later! Good luck buying back Ella.