Brendanwatch: BB remembered

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Mrs_Fox 2 Comments

After what seems like months and months, in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, for a murder that wasn’t actually him (although one of the many unsolved murders in Hollyoaks did involve our favourite moustachioed Oirishman) people, including his devoted sister, finally remembered that Brendan exists.

Of course, people couldn’t be blamed for being distracted from Brendan’s plight. The WEDDING OF THE YEAR took place (almost) and with more satin than Laura Ashley, canapes and a stretch limo it’s no wonder that people forgot about the wrongly accused non-murderer (this time). He’s not the only one with troubles though, Mercedes admitted to having played away (get it, because Riley‘s a FOOTBALLER) with her fiance’s DAD (Daily Mail, eat your heart out) and all hell broke loose. Literally. Fortunately, Riley’s caring granddad arrived to save the day. Oh, wait…..

Yeah, he’s back. HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED. Who robbed of us our one true love (apart from Darren) and chances are he’s not back to free Brendan. He’s probably not using that iPad to tweet GIVE HIM BACK (hashtag freebrendan) No, he’s prancing around the village while Brendan is beaten up by Warren’s cronies.

One of few Brendan mentions this week (Brentions if you will) came from Cheryl who’d you’d think would be constantly distraught as her own brother who can do no wrong (apart from mug her for a couple grand) rotted in jail. Cheryl’s been somewhat distracted however by hirings, re-hirings, firings and re-jigging of rotas. In a bar with two (ish) members of staff I’m not sure how long re-doing a rota can take, “I want some time off” demanded Rhys (is he ever at work?) and “I’m not working with a rapist!” he exclaimed. Soz babes, you don’t have a choice said our Cheryl, putting her foot down and taking control of her HUGE staff. Not only did she have many minor problems to contend with, she had to spend the week doing her usual shoulder-to-cry-on provision (easy when you have shoulder pads as big as hers) with Ste popping round to ask for a job so that he could follow his ex-girlfriend he used to beat up who is the mother of one of his children to New York with her new lover. Weird. Anyway, Cheryl got all shout-y, accused him of not caring about Brendan (does she not know anything?!) and suggested that he must love the fact that Brendan got beaten up. Well, karma and all that. My heart leapt at the mention of my favourite Oirishman - finally, someone cared! However, Ste’s problems (care) and family drama (bore) soon made Cheryl forget all about her banged up bro, and the village went back to life BB (before Brendan).

With the unmitigated disaster of Mercy’s revelation that she is a bit of a slag (no surprise there) the wedding was less of a wedding and more of a journey to a castle, the contents of the entire Lancôme counter and canapes that probably shouldn’t have been distributed to the guests who waited, and gossiped. The shock early finish however, was especially convenient for Warren who went to pay Brendan a visit. Always nice when a wedding doesn’t go ahead so you have the chance to go see your incarcerated business partner/enemy. Anyway, Warren went to see Brendan with the intention to make him sell his half of the club. Another flawed plan from Warren there – chances are Brendan isn’t going to be selling since he worked hard enough to get his 49% or whatever of Hollyoaks’ hot spot and he needs it – where else would he drink tea and beat up Ste? Besides, as Mitzeee pointed out, they don’t have the money for it now that everyone know Carl’s sordid little secret (pretty sure fifty grand isn’t enough for half a nightclub anyway but then again, it is only Chez Chez).

Nevertheless, off Warren toddled to taunt Brendan who probably hasn’t had a visitor in about a fortnight. Brendan (now bearded, which Warren apparently prefers to the tash, and who it would seem doesn’t suit orange) made quips about the wedding and Warren (hair nearly parted, concealer on those eye-bags) alluded to Brendan receiving injuries. SCARY. Brendan, who hasn’t managed to shave but apparently has got time to style his hair in between being menacing and innocent,  demanded to know what Warren was doing with his club. To fill you in Brendan – he’s fired the man accused of rape and ponced about doing little else, oh and he drank some of  the stock when he thought Mitzeee cheated with her own cousin.

Acording to Warren, Cheryl would be “mortified” if anything happened to Brendan (pretty sure she’d be more mortified by all the things he’s getting up to when he’s not trying to be Best Brother 2011) and so Brendan should give him the club. Threats were thrown about, apparently Warren knows lots of people in prison (probably true since he’s been to prison about four hundred times, although it’d be a surprise if any of them were actually friends with him – Warren being a friend-repeller extrordinaire) and when Brendan gets out (HURRY UP!) he’ll kill him. Frying pan, and fire spring to mind…..

Turns out Warren does know some people though, as his next visit to Brendan saw our favourite Oirishman (have I made it clear that he’s the favourite?) slightly bruised. Not entirely sure that constitutes the “terrible accident” Warren promised but surely Brendan had got the hint? No, he’s not in need and they’re not friends. Harsh.

So, in a week where wedding drama took up most of everyone’s time, Brendan was largely forgotten again. Ethan was smug in his belief that at least he’d managed to put someone to prison and no one apart from Cheryl (Queen Carer of the Year) was overly bothered. After all, he’s only in prison for three murders he didn’t commit. Besides, if Silas ups his game a bit, a new murder might cast doubts on his guilt and he’ll be back to bacon sandwiches and bashing of Ste before you can say “tash”.