melanchollyoaks

Posted on October 4, 2011 by welovehollyoaks 6 Comments

OH EM EFFING GEE. The Mercy & Riley wedding promo is all kinds of amazing:

After literally dozens of viewings it is still difficult to decide which is the best bit – such a feast it is for the eyes: Carmel’s bountiful breasts. The perfect union of song choice and oops-I-slept-with-my-fiance’s-dad-and-he-might-be-the-father-of-my-unborn-child storyline. Flinty eyed Carl looks especially flinty (it’s not weird that I totally would, right?), Mercy looking ridiculously hot and vaguely like the gestating Queen from the end of Aliens. The mere sight of Doug – swoon. Seth’s facial expression. The magnificent potato-shaped-face vicar. RILEY THINKING as he approaches the altar.

"oi riley, give us a back rub"

The Silas moment is, of course, very special. I love that he’s wearing a cravat. I love that his proper leather murder gloves are back (none of those icky latex ones from Hollyoaks Later that were more gynaecologist than serial killer). I love his look of sheer disgust at the duplicitous slattern walking by – oh, Silas, if you thought Theresa was a ‘slurrisome tart’ just wait ’til you find out what her cuz has been up to. The Slut-dar will probably go into meltdown.

Then there’s the ending. The final shot – of the beautiful bride staring sorrowfully into the camera, brings to mind the poster for artsy and similarly wedding-themed apocalypse film Melancholia (which I am also a wee bit obsessed with):

melanchollyoaks

I suspect that this is one mighty clue to how this whole saga will conclude:

As we all know, Mercedes’ vagina is the most destructive force in the universe. As she cracks under the pressure of hiding the terrible secret that her something ‘old’ and ‘borrowed’ is actually the father of the groom, she inadvertently activates this fearsome phenomena, sucking everything around her into it  – first Riley, then potato face, then the church, Chester, Britain, Earth until EXISTENCE ITSELF is destroyed. Think Dark Phoenix with paternity issues.

supermassiveblackhole

The end is nigh.

6 Comments

  1. Mrs_Fox
    230 days ago

    OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.
    I’m speechless. AAAAAHHHH!!
    (and starting to fancy Carmel/Silas/Mitzee/Mercedes)

    Reply

  2. Mrs_Fox
    230 days ago

    After this amazing promo, if the wedding is anywhere near as disappointing as Inferno Week I’m going to…….. do something really bad. Like glare threateningly at the TV and tut.

    Reply

    • Myras_Kitchen
      230 days ago

      I’m taking this wedding as compensation for the damp pool of disappointment that was last year’s fire. This one has Silas in it. Silas!! I’m feeling the long wait will have been worth it.

      Reply

  3. Rach
    229 days ago

    It is a truly awesome promo, you just feel that the actual wedding can’t possibly top it. But the promo is possibly the most fantastic bit of telly all year in itself! I LOVE it. The look on Silas’ face – oh Mercy I wouldn’t want to be in your stilettos!

    Reply

  4. Miriam
    229 days ago

    I will never be able to shake the image of Mercedes as the Alien Queen. Someone should tell her to ‘Get away from Carl, you bitch!’.

    I also think they’d have been better off going for the Murderdolls cover of White Wedding. Seems more fitting somehow. Possibly because of the murder and that.

    Reply

  5. Lozzz20
    220 days ago

    i have a feeling Silas is gonna claim his next victim very soon….

    Reply

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