Baby Foxy Joel fancies himself a big man. And who can blame him? His Pa, Wazza, was one of the baddest tough guys to ever grace the streets of Hollyoaks in a puffer jacket. Alas, Joel is a character more reminiscent of the “mature” Warren – the one who mostly sat on the couch and [...]

The week started off relatively well for Maddie. In the sense that it was a complete success if manipulative bitch is the look you like to adopt on a daily basis. Which Maddie does. Ah, Maddie. One of the “cool new sixth-formers”, none of whom have shown themselves to be in the slightest bit “cool”, [...]

This week Hollyoaks taught us all a lesson – don’t show off. We all do it, we all like to impress our friends, buying a new dress or paying for drinks or telling them some wonderfully embellished story. That’s all fine though. What’s not fine is telling your friends you’ve passed your driving test, offering [...]

Oh dear, things haven’t been all that great for poor Jason Costello. First, as Jasmine, she was molly coddled and forced to be a “lady” by Heidi (God rest her soul), then there was the whole Bart débâcle – Will they? Won’t they? Does Bart love Jasmine? Does Jasmine love Bart? Does anybody care? Oh, [...]

I’ve been avoiding this.  But I just can’t duck out of it any longer.  Here we go.  *cracks knuckles* So.  Bart and Sinead.  It’s been going on a long time, right?  Can anyone remember how it started?  Is anyone still bovvered?  Because we’re struggling.  Let’s recap. About 453 years ago, Sinead had the hots for [...]

It’s been a funny old ride, the Upstairs-Downstairs symbiosis between the McQueens and the Costellos.  This merger of the Premiership with the  Johnstone’s Paint Trophy started near enough a year ago, when Mercedes popped into The Dog for a snifter to help her get over recently-deceased Mal, and ended up accidentally engaged to 19 year [...]

Woah there!  What in the name of juvenile delinquency is going on here?  Something has gone wrong with Jason.  He seemed like such a nice lad.  Last week, he turned into a little prick.  Overnight.  Before he had a chance to get one of his own.  Ironic. Here is the general gist of our Oaks [...]

Those troublesome teens of Hollyoaks! Their lives are so hard! And yet they provide us with hours of mildly entertaining… entertainment, every weekday. Oh, Hollyoaks, how you spoil us. Old manipulative Maddie, still unsatisfied that Bart and Sinead are hung up on each other, has become the dictator of poor Sinead’s life and as a [...]

It’s the beginning of September, which can mean only one thing – back to school time for the characters of Hollyoaks! Due to the inevitable passage of time, our favourite teen characters are growing older and no longer have to go to smelly old school which is for little children and uncool people anyway, duh. [...]

Thanks to flu, Christmas and too much time spent watching Downton Abbey, WLH is now so far behind that to do a post for each of the weeks we’ve missed would be an almost impossible feat. So instead, here are our high (or more often low) points of December. If you notice that Brendan news [...]