News of Nancy’s recently-discovered pregnancy has been round the village quicker than Mercedes McQueen and although she may be all smiles now things haven’t always been roses and rainbows in Nancy‘s love life. Nancy Anne Osborne (née Hayton, previously Dean) hasn’t always been too successful in her choice of partners. Back in the old, old days when Nancy was [...]

Jono and Ruby – most convincing couple ever – are finally going steady after Jono decides he doesn’t care about the opinion of a calculating, manipulative banshee who thinks she’s the epitome of adulthood just because she goes to sixth form college (Maddie). Like, it’s not even a real college? It’s a sixth form college, [...]

The “will they, won’t they?” was a question everyone was asking at the start of the week. Although, not Darren because he was convinced it was all going to go to plan. And not Nancy because she didn’t know anything about it. And not Nancy‘s mum because she had engineered the entire situation to ensure [...]

We knew from the start that Silas kind of sucked at being a village murderer. For one thing, he went for months having killed only two victims, leaving pretty much everyone questioning his status as a “serial” killer. Alas, he eventually got his act together, offing victim #3 – Rebecca/Becks/Jenny/whatever her real name actually was. [...]

Tom! Thomas! Tomothy! Tom-diddly-omptious! Whatever endearing name it is you have taken to calling dear little Tom Cunningham, I salute you, because it’s not easy to sit and watch possibly one of the most abused characters in soap history. Yes, Tom has had a difficult life, having had to deal with the death of his [...]

YES!!! No, not Brendan.  Made you look, though.  But in honour of The Big BB, let’s raise a dead-eyed double fist pump to the return of … Gilly.  Yay.  Hmm.  Aw heck, we KNEW the Racqui bliss was too good to last. We’d better warn you, this won’t be objective.  We’re not the BBC.  If [...]

And no, we couldn’t think of a shorter title. So the big news this past couple of weeks was of course the ongoing NEVER. ENDING. WHO. KILLED. CALVIN. PLOT. Whilst our hopes that this storyline would finally be resolved were cruelly dashed, there were many things that caused us great joy/made us want to throw [...]

WOO! So, January was a busy month wasn’t it? Here’s our roundup of all the Hollyoaks action: the (os)borne identity We love Darren. Have we ever said how much we love Darren? We LOVE him. And not just in a we-want-to-lick-him way.  So of course we were more than pleased that January was unofficially Mr [...]

And some other stuff as well. Yes, it could only be the demented happenings in Hollyoaks w/c 29th November. Can’t remember back that far? You don’t have to! Just read on…

“It’s too ‘orrible for words” cooed Heidi, about today’s fiery carnage. We disagree, there are LOTS of words for it – and here they are: