I’ve been avoiding this.  But I just can’t duck out of it any longer.  Here we go.  *cracks knuckles* So.  Bart and Sinead.  It’s been going on a long time, right?  Can anyone remember how it started?  Is anyone still bovvered?  Because we’re struggling.  Let’s recap. About 453 years ago, Sinead had the hots for [...]

“For crying out loud open your eyes for once! Silas is guilty as sin. As I have been telling you all this time” – Just in case they forgot for five minutes I have to confess that I haven’t always been Lynsey’s biggest fan. A year ago I would have said that her only function [...]

It is now. Well, sort of. It all came crashing down for Silas, like an urn dropping from the hands of our second-favourite Oirish girl, his hopes and dreams of ridding the world of likely Jeremy Kyle candidates fell apart. Gutted. Obviously, it must have been a nightmare for Lynsey being the village crazy who [...]

Those troublesome teens of Hollyoaks! Their lives are so hard! And yet they provide us with hours of mildly entertaining… entertainment, every weekday. Oh, Hollyoaks, how you spoil us. Old manipulative Maddie, still unsatisfied that Bart and Sinead are hung up on each other, has become the dictator of poor Sinead’s life and as a [...]

It’s the beginning of September, which can mean only one thing – back to school time for the characters of Hollyoaks! Due to the inevitable passage of time, our favourite teen characters are growing older and no longer have to go to smelly old school which is for little children and uncool people anyway, duh. [...]

Bad WLH. We’ve been very remiss in our Brendanwatches. In our defence, the double B has been so mesmerizing lately that we’ve found ourselves crouched infront of the TV, transfixed, like the Carol-Ann in Poltergeist, with marginally less disasterous consequences. No one tore their own face off anyway. We managed to fight our way out [...]

We’re looking for a good time….etc Anyway, we don’t know what they’ve been putting in the beer over in Hollyoaks village lately, but the men folk have been up to all sorts. Here’s our A-Z of the goings on: Alistair Bad times for the dapper pensioner, having to suffer the indignity death by falling/being pushed [...]

WOO! So, January was a busy month wasn’t it? Here’s our roundup of all the Hollyoaks action: the (os)borne identity We love Darren. Have we ever said how much we love Darren? We LOVE him. And not just in a we-want-to-lick-him way.  So of course we were more than pleased that January was unofficially Mr [...]

Reeling from the news that, despite “entertaining” us for months with 12 year olds shagging, scary faced dads and demonic child-women, the Sharpes will not be returning to the village, we took a moment to consider the flurry of recent Hollyoaks arrivals and departures.