Jono and Ruby – most convincing couple ever – are finally going steady after Jono decides he doesn’t care about the opinion of a calculating, manipulative banshee who thinks she’s the epitome of adulthood just because she goes to sixth form college (Maddie). Like, it’s not even a real college? It’s a sixth form college, [...]

We knew from the start that Silas kind of sucked at being a village murderer. For one thing, he went for months having killed only two victims, leaving pretty much everyone questioning his status as a “serial” killer. Alas, he eventually got his act together, offing victim #3 – Rebecca/Becks/Jenny/whatever her real name actually was. [...]

Tom! Thomas! Tomothy! Tom-diddly-omptious! Whatever endearing name it is you have taken to calling dear little Tom Cunningham, I salute you, because it’s not easy to sit and watch possibly one of the most abused characters in soap history. Yes, Tom has had a difficult life, having had to deal with the death of his [...]

….. an article in the Chester Herald. Yes, Darren and Nancy (Narren? Dancy?) took the next step with their relationship this week as she praised him in the local rag in an attempt to make him believe she cares about something other than running about in high heels and pencil skirts with a serial killer. [...]

And some other stuff as well. Yes, it could only be the demented happenings in Hollyoaks w/c 29th November. Can’t remember back that far? You don’t have to! Just read on…

Yep, last week the big Inferno Week whodunnit was revealed to be Hutchinson minor.

E4+1 first look… All by myself… Poor Bambi is feeling sorry for himself, abandoned by John Paul, unwelcome at The Dog, in the dark about the Jack’s fake death scheme and nothing more than a comedy anecdote to ex Sarah. He spent the episode mooching around the village, fluttering those eyelashes. Poor lamb! A day [...]

Still tearful and vulnerable after the death of ex-Father Kieron, here is our round up of other goings on in this week’s omnibus… The merry widow Okay Steph, it might have been a bit of a shock to find out that Jack was still alive, but how’s about you pack in the ‘You cheated meh!’ [...]

Last night, we left WLHHQ fairly late and decided to treat ourselves to a night at Nando’s for what we thought would include no more than a reasonably priced chicken dinner and a thoughtful discussion on the finer points of Craig’s return to the ‘Oaks. Boy, were we wrong. En route, we stumbled into a [...]

E4 first look… Their eyes met over a crowded smoothie shop… We all know John Paul has a penchant for a love triangle (him-Kieron-God being his latest), so he must have been overjoyed by the return of Craig – fellow ratboy and his first love. Craig, for his part, was just as happy to see [...]