It’s been a funny old ride, the Upstairs-Downstairs symbiosis between the McQueens and the Costellos.  This merger of the Premiership with the  Johnstone’s Paint Trophy started near enough a year ago, when Mercedes popped into The Dog for a snifter to help her get over recently-deceased Mal, and ended up accidentally engaged to 19 year [...]

Last week we saw the SHOCKING revelation of Mercy’s sexy time affair with her hubby-to-be’s Pa, Carl! Riley, confused and betrayed as he was, ran off on a presumably murderous rampage. Old Man Silas, Hollyoak’s personal ladykiller, on the other hand, sticks around to cast an eeevil look at… someone. Us! There is indeed something [...]

Carl Costello and Silas Blisset. Two characters, both alike in dignity, in fair Hollyoaks where we lay our scene. No I’m not suggesting there’s some sort of homoerotic connection between the two gentlemen, that would be just one step too far! But they are alike, though probably not in dignity? Unless they’re both alike in [...]

I don’t know about YOU guys, but I will always have a special place in my heart for Mitzeee that is labelled “Mitzeee’s special place in Miriam’s heart” or something to that effect. Not only is she smart AND funny AND pretty, but she totally wears the pants in the whole Mitzeee/Warren relationship. And I [...]

OH EM EFFING GEE. The Mercy & Riley wedding promo is all kinds of amazing: After literally dozens of viewings it is still difficult to decide which is the best bit – such a feast it is for the eyes: Carmel’s bountiful breasts. The perfect union of song choice and oops-I-slept-with-my-fiance’s-dad-and-he-might-be-the-father-of-my-unborn-child storyline. Flinty eyed Carl [...]

Confession.  This started life as a post about the dodgy doings of Mark “Dodger” Savage, the village’s resident sexbot.  But as we watched Dodger and limp hippychick Texas dance around each other’s commitment issues last week, we realised this story wasn’t about them at all.  It was about the guy in the background, the wallflower, [...]

Hen nights are always a bit crap, aren’t they?  There’s that moment, when you’re being jollied along by some grim party rep, and a some vile mate of your mate pukes down her dress before 10pm, and you’re dragged off to bump and grind with some random, and you are nowhere near optimum intoxication, when [...]

And that must be our first ever My Fair Lady reference on WLH in over three years.  Was fun. Anyway, our point is in reference to Silas, the world’s most underachieving serial killer. In fact, he’s only killed two people (that we’ve witnessed anyway) so is he even a serial killer at all? Isn’t he [...]

Dear WLH, Hi, how are you? It’s been tough without you and your daily Hollyoaks witticisms; it’s hard for us but we know it must be hard for you too. So here’s a little bit about what’s been happening while you’ve been away: Mercy: Still lying (very) badly about the baby being Riley’s. Intuition tells [...]

People often ask us how WLH got started. Probably because they think some sort of head trauma must be involved. Since since we’re in post birthday/pre WLH wedding celebration mode, then, we thought we’d get all nostalgic and fess up… WLH began life as a game of Top Trumps. It is at this point we should say [...]