Mitzeee, in her never ending quest for fame/world domination/her own perfume/the world’s most volumised hair, should really be pleased to have a stalker, if anything that shows she’s pretty famous, right? Wrong. Because we all know who her stalker is. And it’s not Neil. Or the woman from the TV show. Or anyone who admires [...]

The week started off relatively well for Maddie. In the sense that it was a complete success if manipulative bitch is the look you like to adopt on a daily basis. Which Maddie does. Ah, Maddie. One of the “cool new sixth-formers”, none of whom have shown themselves to be in the slightest bit “cool”, [...]

It’s been a week of ups and downs for Hollyoaks’ most enthusiastic business duo. And along the emotional journey on the roller coaster we had tears, tantrums, sulking threats, classic Brendan and a very messy kitchen at Tony‘s. Somehow though it all worked out OK for our favourite crime-fighting pair also known as “Steven and [...]

Riley‘s “quick return to sell the pub” has turned in a long return to ruin Mercedes‘ already fairly ruined life and substantially annoy EVERYONE. Or maybe just me. Oh, and start what looks like expensive alterations on the pub so that it no longer reminds him of his ruined family, his murdered mum and his [...]

Hollyoaks sixth-form is pretty demanding and clearly time consuming since only Callum noticed that George was homeless, living in a shack and eating leftover muffins. To be fair, Neil has been busy lying about passing his driving test, Jono has Ruby to deal with/sleep with, Bart has a car to not ever actually drive, Sinead [...]

News of Nancy’s recently-discovered pregnancy has been round the village quicker than Mercedes McQueen and although she may be all smiles now things haven’t always been roses and rainbows in Nancy‘s love life. Nancy Anne Osborne (née Hayton, previously Dean) hasn’t always been too successful in her choice of partners. Back in the old, old days when Nancy was [...]

Ah Mercedes McQueen. Not only named after her place of conception (MYEARS) she’s also a McQueen which means that, unless you’re Tina (RIP) (although then again she did have an affair with Mercedes’ ex-husband) you have to be willing to steal, sleep around the village and dress in nothing but a combination of New Look [...]

The “will they, won’t they?” was a question everyone was asking at the start of the week. Although, not Darren because he was convinced it was all going to go to plan. And not Nancy because she didn’t know anything about it. And not Nancy‘s mum because she had engineered the entire situation to ensure [...]

This week Hollyoaks taught us all a lesson – don’t show off. We all do it, we all like to impress our friends, buying a new dress or paying for drinks or telling them some wonderfully embellished story. That’s all fine though. What’s not fine is telling your friends you’ve passed your driving test, offering [...]

We all know the feeling, the awkward moment when you get a new job as a cleaner at the hospital and realise that one of doctors is the guy you had sex with last night, sex he paid you for. Wait, no, we don’t all know that feeling. Because that would NEVER happen. Because, we [...]