We’ve been trying to think when there was ever a more useless copper on the screen than DC Ethan Scott.  Is he incompetent?  Or just plain BAD?  It took us a while, but then we hit on it.  Based on his form, hapless plod Ethan is the new Inspector Clouseau.  Picture the scene: DI Busty-Blonde [...]

Everyone likes Brendan, right? It’s just one of those things. There’s something strangely alluring about a man with a handlebar moustache that big. He may have issues (the dismissal of his underlying gayness, beating up unsuspecting ratboys, accidentally assaulting his own sister, going back for more ratboy beating, grabbing Doug’s face, emotionally manipulating most people [...]

“For crying out loud open your eyes for once! Silas is guilty as sin. As I have been telling you all this time” – Just in case they forgot for five minutes I have to confess that I haven’t always been Lynsey’s biggest fan. A year ago I would have said that her only function [...]

We knew from the start that Silas kind of sucked at being a village murderer. For one thing, he went for months having killed only two victims, leaving pretty much everyone questioning his status as a “serial” killer. Alas, he eventually got his act together, offing victim #3 – Rebecca/Becks/Jenny/whatever her real name actually was. [...]

It is now. Well, sort of. It all came crashing down for Silas, like an urn dropping from the hands of our second-favourite Oirish girl, his hopes and dreams of ridding the world of likely Jeremy Kyle candidates fell apart. Gutted. Obviously, it must have been a nightmare for Lynsey being the village crazy who [...]

It’s been a funny old ride, the Upstairs-Downstairs symbiosis between the McQueens and the Costellos.  This merger of the Premiership with the  Johnstone’s Paint Trophy started near enough a year ago, when Mercedes popped into The Dog for a snifter to help her get over recently-deceased Mal, and ended up accidentally engaged to 19 year [...]

After what seemed like an eternity gadding about in France (where we are to presume he doesn’t do too much murdering, French women obviously being much more classy than the fine young ladies of Hollyoaks) HE’S BACK! And he’s better than ever. Looks like his gallivanting (as my mother would say) has made him even more [...]

Last week we saw the SHOCKING revelation of Mercy’s sexy time affair with her hubby-to-be’s Pa, Carl! Riley, confused and betrayed as he was, ran off on a presumably murderous rampage. Old Man Silas, Hollyoak’s personal ladykiller, on the other hand, sticks around to cast an eeevil look at… someone. Us! There is indeed something [...]

After what seems like months and months, in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, for a murder that wasn’t actually him (although one of the many unsolved murders in Hollyoaks did involve our favourite moustachioed Oirishman) people, including his devoted sister, finally remembered that Brendan exists. Of course, people couldn’t be blamed for being [...]

Carl Costello and Silas Blisset. Two characters, both alike in dignity, in fair Hollyoaks where we lay our scene. No I’m not suggesting there’s some sort of homoerotic connection between the two gentlemen, that would be just one step too far! But they are alike, though probably not in dignity? Unless they’re both alike in [...]