The week started off relatively well for Maddie. In the sense that it was a complete success if manipulative bitch is the look you like to adopt on a daily basis. Which Maddie does. Ah, Maddie. One of the “cool new sixth-formers”, none of whom have shown themselves to be in the slightest bit “cool”, [...]

This week Hollyoaks taught us all a lesson – don’t show off. We all do it, we all like to impress our friends, buying a new dress or paying for drinks or telling them some wonderfully embellished story. That’s all fine though. What’s not fine is telling your friends you’ve passed your driving test, offering [...]

No, we’re not about to burst into a cheesy musical song, though it’s the right season for it, and we will if you want, we’re pretty cheap really.  Mr Myra’s Kitchen usually pays us not to burst into song, you might want to be aware of that before you make your choice. No, this week [...]

I’ve been avoiding this.  But I just can’t duck out of it any longer.  Here we go.  *cracks knuckles* So.  Bart and Sinead.  It’s been going on a long time, right?  Can anyone remember how it started?  Is anyone still bovvered?  Because we’re struggling.  Let’s recap. About 453 years ago, Sinead had the hots for [...]

Woah there!  What in the name of juvenile delinquency is going on here?  Something has gone wrong with Jason.  He seemed like such a nice lad.  Last week, he turned into a little prick.  Overnight.  Before he had a chance to get one of his own.  Ironic. Here is the general gist of our Oaks [...]

Those troublesome teens of Hollyoaks! Their lives are so hard! And yet they provide us with hours of mildly entertaining… entertainment, every weekday. Oh, Hollyoaks, how you spoil us. Old manipulative Maddie, still unsatisfied that Bart and Sinead are hung up on each other, has become the dictator of poor Sinead’s life and as a [...]

It’s the beginning of September, which can mean only one thing – back to school time for the characters of Hollyoaks! Due to the inevitable passage of time, our favourite teen characters are growing older and no longer have to go to smelly old school which is for little children and uncool people anyway, duh. [...]

So as a companion piece to our recent boyz post, we thought we’d take a look at what the female of the Hollyoaks species has been up to: Amy Amy returned from her Inferno Week-related exile. Did she choose to spend time with her neglected offspring? No! Of course she didn’t! Inexplicably given a job [...]

WOO! So, January was a busy month wasn’t it? Here’s our roundup of all the Hollyoaks action: the (os)borne identity We love Darren. Have we ever said how much we love Darren? We LOVE him. And not just in a we-want-to-lick-him way.  So of course we were more than pleased that January was unofficially Mr [...]

And some other stuff as well. Yes, it could only be the demented happenings in Hollyoaks w/c 29th November. Can’t remember back that far? You don’t have to! Just read on…