Baby Foxy Joel fancies himself a big man. And who can blame him? His Pa, Wazza, was one of the baddest tough guys to ever grace the streets of Hollyoaks in a puffer jacket. Alas, Joel is a character more reminiscent of the “mature” Warren – the one who mostly sat on the couch and [...]

Riley‘s “quick return to sell the pub” has turned in a long return to ruin Mercedes‘ already fairly ruined life and substantially annoy EVERYONE. Or maybe just me. Oh, and start what looks like expensive alterations on the pub so that it no longer reminds him of his ruined family, his murdered mum and his [...]

As far as Christmas presents go, a trip to America to marry the fiancé who killed his previous fiancée an is probably going to kill you too, it’s not the best. Understandably, Mitzeee wasn’t overly happy although Warren started the week in a great mood – not even Brendan‘s (questionable) taste in decor was going [...]

Are they on? Are they off? Does Mitzeee want to date a murderer? Does she want to save herself or reach the same fate as Louise? Turns out all she wants is a pink bedroom which apparently makes the chance of being brutally strangled on her wedding day worth it. It was a week of [...]

We’ve been trying to think when there was ever a more useless copper on the screen than DC Ethan Scott.  Is he incompetent?  Or just plain BAD?  It took us a while, but then we hit on it.  Based on his form, hapless plod Ethan is the new Inspector Clouseau.  Picture the scene: DI Busty-Blonde [...]

The hot story of the week may largely involve murderous shenanigans with Old Man Silas, but that doesn’t mean that life can’t go on for the regular residents of peaceful old Hollyoaks. Indeed, who could be any more regular than humble, angsty teenage nerd, Will Savage. He may be blood relative to a robot (I’m [...]

After what seemed like an eternity gadding about in France (where we are to presume he doesn’t do too much murdering, French women obviously being much more classy than the fine young ladies of Hollyoaks) HE’S BACK! And he’s better than ever. Looks like his gallivanting (as my mother would say) has made him even more [...]

Seeing as Silas is currently hoovering up the sexually depraved harlots of the village, like NooNoo after a heavy day in the Tellytubby house, it seems like the right moment to redress the balance in favour of the sisterhood.  Because this doesn’t run one way, right Grandad?  It can’t ALL be our fault.  It can’t [...]

You boys better watch out – I’ve got a notepad, I’ve got a pencil, and I’m not afraid to use them – Will delivers the least frightening threat in history Ah, university. The perfect place for a new start and a clean slate. Unless of course, you are Annalise, and you arrive with your sponging [...]

OH EM EFFING GEE. The Mercy & Riley wedding promo is all kinds of amazing: After literally dozens of viewings it is still difficult to decide which is the best bit – such a feast it is for the eyes: Carmel’s bountiful breasts. The perfect union of song choice and oops-I-slept-with-my-fiance’s-dad-and-he-might-be-the-father-of-my-unborn-child storyline. Flinty eyed Carl [...]