Darren

We love Darren! Okay, so he is a ratboy with the dress sense of a pimp, who cheated on lovely Zoe and whose gambling addiction not only resulted in the almost bankruptcy (and therefore faked death) of his dad Jack but also the false imprisonment of Jake for Sean’s murder. But…he is just so funny! Never short of a bitchy comment, he is regularly told to sod off, punched in the face and puked on but this never seems to dent his over confidence. And deep down he just wants to be loved by his dad. Ahhh!

status @  Dec 2008

Darren incarcerated! Banged up for the Jack fake death scheme and subsequent insurance fraud. The village is a way duller place without him.

status @ january 2009

Released back into the wild! Huzzah!

status @ december 2009

A year of freedom has seen Darren: get vommed on and punched in the face a lot (naturally); lose Cindy to Tony; be ostracized by his unforgiving dad and the rest if the Osborne-Deans (bunch of bastards that they are); be seemingly continually employed, sacked then re-employed again at The Dog; continue to display the greatest fashion sense the world has ever seen. Fact; and finally, embark on a rather sweet marriage to disaster-area Hannah. What a year, what a guy.

McQueen index: 1 – Mercy (we think?)

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