Jake

Jake seemed so normal – a loyal, dependable, if a little boring, gardener. But the breakdown of his marriage to Becca, who subsequently left him for teenage jailbait Justin, sent him on a one-way trip to madsville. His score sheet is as follows:

hit and run death causing: 1 (of Mum Valentine)

deeply inappropriate marriage to dead ex-wife’s baby sister: 1

obsession with raising a child that isn’t his: 1

creepy control freak mind games: numerous (of Nancy)

attempted rape: 1 (of Nancy)

attempted murder: 1 (of Charlie)

inexplicably taking the rap for a murder he didn’t commit: 1 (of Sean)

status @ august 2008

Eating flies in Chester’s local asylum, sporting a mahoosive beard.

status @ october 2009

Here’s jaaaake…..

status @ october 2010

2010 didn’t prove to be a lucky year for Mr Dean. Unable to find work because of his lunatic back story, accused of all manner of crimes – from murder to child abduction – he was also stalked in a baffling plot involving a psychiatric nurse called Caroline who lived in a caravan. We kid you not. His love life proved no better, his pudding faced and hitherto completely sane girlfriend Loretta spending the summer going impressively insane. Mind games, revelations of noncery and estate agent boyfriends and a Nancy-starring showdown at Hollyoaks High ensued.

Understandably tiring of forever being labelled as the local village nutter, Jake headed to LONDON with Kris and Zack.

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