Silas

Oh, Silas.EEEEVIL

Not since the days of oedipally-challenged Toby has Hollyoaks had a serial killer in its midst. And god, are we happy he’s here.

This twinkly eyed, woman-hating granddad has taken it upon himself to rid the world of sluts, which we can all agree is very civic minded of him. His slut criteria has thus far included:

  • taking part in internet dating
  • accepting pork pies from strangers
  • dressing as an Ann Summers nurse whilst hosting a sexcam
  • being a McQueen
  • DJing unconvincingly

It’s little wonder then that his Kill the Sluts campaign has had so many candidates in Hollyoaks village – though as a former paramour of not one but two Ashworths it is fair to say that poor India was less a slut and more, frankly, mental.

What’s more – of all of Brendan’s many, many adversaries, who could have predicted that it would be an OAP who vaguely resembles an evil hedgehog who could take on the tash and win. WHO KNEW?

Anyhoo. We fucking love him. Long may he shuffle about the village in his murder gloves, spying of women from behind bushes and admiring their ‘rings’ (huhuhuhuhuh).

Status @ February 2012

Silly Silas. Only a fool takes on the Mercedes Vortex and expects to win. After a cat and mouse game of guess-the-identity-of-my-next-victim-when-actually-it’s-you with increasingly hysterical Lynsey, his reign of terror came to an abrupt end when he attempted to kill the Slut of All Sluts. There was only ever going to be one person to emerge victorious from that. Oh – and he accidentally murdered his own daughter Heidi, but that was more the fault of unimaginative Halloween costume choice on her part.

A classic Hollyoaks villain, we’ll miss you.

McQueen index: 0 (though we bet Myra would have a go)

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